Forgiving You

Summer 2008. A boy broke my trust in my senior year of high school. In the summer between high school and college I had heard through mutual friends that the boy wanted me to forgive him and start talking to him again. I said no. I didn’t believe him that he would apologize to me. It took me years to even be able to forgive myself for my part in trusting him.

When I close my eyes to sleep at night

My mind drifts back to you

The way you help me

And the soft words you spoke to me

And I wonder

If forgiving you if the right thing to do

Maybe I should just let you explain

Say you’re sorry and

Admit you’ve done wrong

Everything could then just go away

But then I remember the humiliation

And the way you made me feel

The words that were spoken shattered then

My life was over without time to spare

And not just my own but my friend too

How could I forgive you for that

Maybe if it had just been me

But even then you still wouldn’t deserve it

Do I miss you and still love you

No

How could I ever again

You ruined our lives

So stay out of them from now on